::the last thing in the list of 10 things i hate about u::

pernah aku bertanya pada sorang kawan, apa rasanya bercinta? macam mana nak tahu, cintanya aku pada orang ni, and jawapan yang aku nak dengar, mestilah bukan jawapan standard orang-orang yang bercinta, contohnya tidur tak lena, makan tak kenyang, mandi tak basah...itu semua jawapan yang doesn't really makes sense @ ridiculously ridiculous(can be read as stupid)....mana ada mandi yang tak basah? and kalau dah tido tu, memang confirmnya la mesti lena punya, lebih-lebih lagi kalau dah keje penat yang teramat sangat sebagai "pegawai pendidikan pasca siswazah MARA----nama jawatan perlulah ditulis dengan gempak!-----" ni!

sebenarnya susah untuk mendefine perasaan sendiri... aku rasa suka, aku rasa admire... sometimes buat aku rasa gembira...kadang2 rase menyampah jgk sbb benda ni macam takde pengakhiran, kau keep on questioning apa perasaan someone ni dkt kau, apa maksud tersirat disebalik compliment yang dia bagi, or it just a direct plain compliment, ko rase penat utk fikir had you been such a "controlcun" freak when you are in front of the person u like without you realizing it, or you just be your true self~ at one point you try to be the best friend that you can be, listening and understanding the problem that he have even the problem is kind of hurting you inside~about how his girlfriend keep on asking him about marriage~ i smiled, stating that women need to be sure that their waits are worthy. and i wonder why i said that!!~angelic much..heh!~i hate him for this feeling...love hate relationship??

~i'm not good, but i want to be better~

::midnight rant::

~you were there during my hard times, comes storms or high water, why can't i be there for you when you are at your lowest state~its a mixed feelings, indeed..i am no one to you, but a good friend i hope...please let me be..
p/s: sometimes, somehow i wished our path never crossed each other.

~i'm not good, but i want to be better~

::undefined::

please define what is happiness when..

looking at you make me sad,
talking to you make me sad,
and even trying to smile to you make me sad,

it hurts me but nothing i could do!



~i'm not good, but i want to be better~